I was assigned by my supervisor to do a specific task and at some point I needed help or assistance, guess who showed up? My female supervisor! Suddenly Genesis chapter one came to my mind. And then I began to read (Gen 2:18), "and the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help mate for him."
I studied the word "helper" for quite a few months and I found a completely different meaning than that of what we Ethiopians usually interpreted. How many times have you heard at Sunday sermons that the preacher uses the word woman as a taxi driver assistance? (Woyala) I heard the same teaching since I was a kid; and almost everyone, including women, seemed to agree with what we have been told. I remember I had a conversation with an older guy, who had a wife and two daughters, about women's role in the family. He told me very bluntly that "helper" means assistance! I was walking to my house with sadness on my face. I was sad because I was wondering how is it that a Christian guy can believe that his wife and his two daughters are simply useful for only the role of assisting in the family relationship? I thought to myself, "what kind of guy agrees to marry his assistant...how can you want to spend the rest of your life with your assistant?" I wouldn't! I prefer to be single, unmarried for the rest of my life than to marry my assistant. The worst part about this is that the whole society seems to flow in the same direction.
Obviously, how you treat people is how you feel about them. So, if you believe the person who takes vows with you is an assistant in your relationship, that's how you are going to treat them for the rest of your life. How can a man trust his assistant to raise his kids? Is that why you decide everything for the family instead discuss issues with your wives? Is that why you have never been in the kitchen to prepare meals while your wives wake up early in the morning to feed the babies and still cook your breakfast after she has cleaned the house? Is that why you don't care about her sexual satisfaction...because you assume she is there to assist you? You think you are the boss so you don't see the point in going out for a date with her to discuss family issues; you just give her orders whenever you want her to do something. You ignorant man!
If you don't know the purpose of woman for heaven's sake don't get married! Have you heard wife abused? that means someone who have a wife, but don't know what wives for. Don't you realize that God gave you larger bones and muscles to protect her, not to abuse her. What do you feel when the doctor gives you the ultrasound results that your unborn baby is a girl? Do you feel sad because you are going to raise an assistant? Is that why when the nurse announced that "it's a boy," you smiled from ear to ear because he is going to be a boss?!
If you don't know the purpose of woman for heaven's sake don't get married! Have you heard wife abused? that means someone who have a wife, but don't know what wives for. Don't you realize that God gave you larger bones and muscles to protect her, not to abuse her. What do you feel when the doctor gives you the ultrasound results that your unborn baby is a girl? Do you feel sad because you are going to raise an assistant? Is that why when the nurse announced that "it's a boy," you smiled from ear to ear because he is going to be a boss?!
Dear man, I want to ask you something. Why are you looking for a right woman? I thought you were looking for the right companion; rather you are looking for an assistant. If you are looking for an assistant, you can pick anyone and train them to be your assistant? Isn't it? Why bother praying and studying her background in order to fill an assistant position?
Let me go back to my initial point, so my female supervisor helped me very well and I completed the task. Here is the thing that bothers me a lot; she is my supervisor, but at the same time she appeared as a helper! Ummm.... I thought helper is an assistant position. Let's see the logic. If you are the boss, but can still be a helper it means you don't have to be an assistant to be a helper right? Therefore, "helper" doesn't necessarily mean assistant. It was at this point that I decided to dig a little bit more into discovering the concept of what a "helper" is. It took me a few months to study the original word and find out the exact meaning.
The word "helper" in the Hebrew language known as 'ezer Usages of '. Ezer in the Old Testament show that in most cases, God is an 'ezer' to human beings, which calls to question if the word "helper" is a valid interpretation of 'ezer' in any instance that it is used. Evidence indicates that the word 'ezer' originally had two roots, each beginning with different guttural sounds. One meant "power" and the other "strength." As time passed, the two guttural sounds merged, but the meanings remained the same.
What shocked me the most is that the word 'ezer' was used to describe God himself.
Then Samuel took a stone, and set it between Mizpeh, and Shen, and called the name of it Ebenezer, saying, Hitherto hath the LORD helped us. (1 Sam 7:12)
Ebenezer means “stone of help.” From then on, every time an Israelite saw the stone erected by Samuel, he would have a tangible reminder of the Lord’s power and protection. The “stone of help” marked the spot where the enemy had been routed and God’s promise to bless His repentant people had been honored. The Lord had helped them, all the way to Ebenezer.
Of the Heavens in your strength (`-z-r), and on the clouds in his majesty." (Deut. 33:26)
"Blessed are you, O Israel! Who is like you, a people saved by the Lord? He is the shield of your strength (`-z-r) and the sword of your majesty." (Deut. 33:29)
This line of reasoning, which stresses full equality, is continued in Genesis 2:23 where Adam says of Eve, "this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,' for she was taken out of man." The idiomatic sense of this phrase, "bone of my bones" is a "very close relative" to "one of us" or in effect "our equal." The word woman comes from two words called "womb-man". What God had intended, then, was to make a "power" or "strength" for the man who would in every way "correspond to him" or even "be his equal."
In other words, different but equal! Women and men have equal value in the eyes of God, they certainly have different God-given roles. I do hope we are not going down that path to argue first-come, first-served thing, Because in case if you forgot God created cattle first before he created humans. God is a God of order, and God created in an orderly manner where the more complex follows less complex.
My question is, just because God helped you, does it that makes him your assistant? The answer is no! And so it is the same with the woman! Unfortunately, in our culture, "helper" is easily associated with assistant position.
Finally, I would like to say something to the single men who are looking to get married. You need a companion, not an assistant! God didn't make Eve because Adam was lonely, it's because Adam was alone! Before you approach a woman, think twice, as you are going to meet "bone of your bones" - "womb-man" - woman, equal but different! The relationship is not 50/50 it's 100/100. Find someone who is fully single! If you are not ready for this reality, my encouragement to you would be to work on yourself! Work on your single life because that's the foundation for your marriage. Biblical marriage is two wholes becoming one, which is much stronger than two halves becoming one.
Dear African fellow, before we strive to embrace equality between white and black let's embrace equality between us and our own African sisters. Let us be our own equality activists.
With that being said, If any gentleman approaches my adorable sister thinking that she would be your assistant, make sure you have a good dental coverage!
Let me go back to my initial point, so my female supervisor helped me very well and I completed the task. Here is the thing that bothers me a lot; she is my supervisor, but at the same time she appeared as a helper! Ummm.... I thought helper is an assistant position. Let's see the logic. If you are the boss, but can still be a helper it means you don't have to be an assistant to be a helper right? Therefore, "helper" doesn't necessarily mean assistant. It was at this point that I decided to dig a little bit more into discovering the concept of what a "helper" is. It took me a few months to study the original word and find out the exact meaning.
The word "helper" in the Hebrew language known as 'ezer Usages of '. Ezer in the Old Testament show that in most cases, God is an 'ezer' to human beings, which calls to question if the word "helper" is a valid interpretation of 'ezer' in any instance that it is used. Evidence indicates that the word 'ezer' originally had two roots, each beginning with different guttural sounds. One meant "power" and the other "strength." As time passed, the two guttural sounds merged, but the meanings remained the same.
What shocked me the most is that the word 'ezer' was used to describe God himself.
Then Samuel took a stone, and set it between Mizpeh, and Shen, and called the name of it Ebenezer, saying, Hitherto hath the LORD helped us. (1 Sam 7:12)
Ebenezer means “stone of help.” From then on, every time an Israelite saw the stone erected by Samuel, he would have a tangible reminder of the Lord’s power and protection. The “stone of help” marked the spot where the enemy had been routed and God’s promise to bless His repentant people had been honored. The Lord had helped them, all the way to Ebenezer.
Of the Heavens in your strength (`-z-r), and on the clouds in his majesty." (Deut. 33:26)
"Blessed are you, O Israel! Who is like you, a people saved by the Lord? He is the shield of your strength (`-z-r) and the sword of your majesty." (Deut. 33:29)
This line of reasoning, which stresses full equality, is continued in Genesis 2:23 where Adam says of Eve, "this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,' for she was taken out of man." The idiomatic sense of this phrase, "bone of my bones" is a "very close relative" to "one of us" or in effect "our equal." The word woman comes from two words called "womb-man". What God had intended, then, was to make a "power" or "strength" for the man who would in every way "correspond to him" or even "be his equal."
In other words, different but equal! Women and men have equal value in the eyes of God, they certainly have different God-given roles. I do hope we are not going down that path to argue first-come, first-served thing, Because in case if you forgot God created cattle first before he created humans. God is a God of order, and God created in an orderly manner where the more complex follows less complex.
My question is, just because God helped you, does it that makes him your assistant? The answer is no! And so it is the same with the woman! Unfortunately, in our culture, "helper" is easily associated with assistant position.
Finally, I would like to say something to the single men who are looking to get married. You need a companion, not an assistant! God didn't make Eve because Adam was lonely, it's because Adam was alone! Before you approach a woman, think twice, as you are going to meet "bone of your bones" - "womb-man" - woman, equal but different! The relationship is not 50/50 it's 100/100. Find someone who is fully single! If you are not ready for this reality, my encouragement to you would be to work on yourself! Work on your single life because that's the foundation for your marriage. Biblical marriage is two wholes becoming one, which is much stronger than two halves becoming one.
Dear African fellow, before we strive to embrace equality between white and black let's embrace equality between us and our own African sisters. Let us be our own equality activists.
With that being said, If any gentleman approaches my adorable sister thinking that she would be your assistant, make sure you have a good dental coverage!
Let me conclude by what Dr. Myles Munroe said:
"God didn't create a leech, he created a whole, single man and woman-called Adam and Eve! Marriage is like an omelette and an omelette is only as good as the eggs".
